The Wedding: Part one

Okay so I worked on my wedding for almost two years. Of course now that it is over I have a need to gush about every single detail of my day. Its a way to squeeze out every last bit of left over big day euphoria. So to start at the beginning:

The Attire:
If you read my previous blog entries then you know my dress was an Oleg Cassini ballgown. But now I can show you pictures!

The Bridesmaids wore Mori Lee strapless tea length dresses in peacock blue.

The Jr. Bridesmaids and flowergirl wore ivory dresses I got from a cute little site
http://www.justuniqueboutique.com although flowergirl's came out more yellow than ivory.

The boys rented their tuxes from Ducky's and were allowed to choose any black tux style they wanted. They wore peacock blue vests underneath and a red pocket square. Jake wore Ivory to match me.

The Ceremony Decor:
We had our ceremony outside next to a wedding gazebo at a local golf course. The gazebo was decorated with ivy vines and a few flowers. There was a small table set up inside the gazebo for our sand ceremony.

There was a small man-made pond with a waterfall right next to site and I would be lying if I didn't say that my biggest fear for the whole wedding was that Lucas was going to try to jump in that thing at some point. He didn't. We had white folding chairs for the guests to sit in and instead of pew bows we had small blue paper lanterns tied with red ribbon on every other chair. (Our colors were peacock blue with small red accents.) In the entrance way to the wedding area we hung our monogram using wooden letters we painted in our color and red ribbon.

The Ceremony:

The boys we had already standing with Jake by the alter, leaving the kids and the girls to walk down the aisle before me. They walked down to the Princess Bride love theme.(The Princess Bride is my favorite movie, If I could have found a pastor who would do the "mawidge" ceremony I would have done it.) I walked down with my dad to Jonathan Cain's arrangement of the Bridal March. The whole time I was laughing because my dad kept telling me if I needed to run he's got the keys and the car. Oh dad. The ceremony went by so fast. It seemed like all I did was walk up there...

put on a ring...

struggle to put sand in a vase (Much harder than it looked...)

kissed Jake...

and then we were walking back up the aisle to "All you need is Love."

In reality it all probably took about 20 minutes but to me it felt like 2 minutes and holy crap we were married.

Next up... The Reception...

It's Over! Now What Do I Do?

The wedding is officially over. Done. Finished. In the past. I'm a married woman. My son is now "legitimate." I can take that scarlet "A" off all my shirts now. But really, the wedding went perfectly. We could not ask for a better day or a better group of family and friends to share it with. (More detailed entry on the wedding to come)

Now the question, what do I do now? Planning the wedding pretty much took over my life for a year and half. The last week before the wedding I couldn't even sleep without dreaming about some aspect of it. Now what am I supposed to do? I need a new project, a hobby, SOMETHING! ANYTHING really. I need something to do when my kid is in bed and my husband is playing video games and taking over our only TV!

Oh yeah, I have a blog. This could work. I think you and I are going to start spending a lot more time together. In a totally platonic way, I am married now after all.

Mommy Peer Pressure

Jake and I had a heart to heart via text message a week ago. We decided it was time to talk about having another baby. I will admit, I'm been having a huge case of baby fever after finding out my best friend was pregnant and having another soon-to-be niece born. Also, I just really really really want a girl, and want to  try for that this time around. While I know I'll be happy as long as the baby is happy and healthy, I'm really pushing for a girl this time around. Anyway, we decided we're going to start trying for a baby sometime in October or November. that would hopefully put the kid's 3 years apart, which I think is an ideal age gap. My middle sister and I have 5 years between us and so we were not really able to relate to each other until just recently. 3 years apart I think that the kid's would be able to really grow up together and share similar interests but still be able to be individuals.

Having a child has me excited to do some things that I was not able to do with Lucas, due to the fact that he wasn't exactly planned and also due to money and location constraints.  One of the things I want to try is cloth diapering. Don't worry I'm not going to turn into a hairy legs & pits, barefoot, organic eating hippie mommy. But I know a couple moms that are doing it and I just kind of want to see what its all about, plus I'm all about saving money. Plus they're less likely to cause diaper rash and after rash nightmares with Lucas, an extra load of laundry or two is worth avoiding that mess. I don't really mind doing laundry, its one of the less annoying of chores since once you put in the machine it pretty much does itself. The only problem I have doing laundry is getting around to putting it away. Thats already figured out, I will have a diaper basket and then I'll never have to actually put them away. So I was excited to see that the cloth diapering brand I was thinking of using is actually available on Target.com, helping us save money even more since Target happens to be Jake's new employer.

The brand I was thinking of using is Charlie Banana its a hybrid system which means that it also makes inserts that are disposable, so I don't have to worry about lugging around dirty diapers in my diaper bag and also can be used for those not willing to jump on the cloth diapering wagon with me, i.e. grandparents, babysitters, etc. Plus they're really cute diapers, and if I'm going to do this I might as well have some fun with it and get the cute ones.

I know I might be setting myself up for failure on this one, in fact I don't think Jake thinks I'm really going to go through with it., but I really think its worth giving a try. But first things first, I should probably get pregnant so I can have a new baby to do this whole experiment on, and then either praise or complain about on this blog. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, what do you think about cloth diapering? I was really surprised how much it has evolved. Its no longer the origami folding and safety pin confusion that it used to be. How about you?

Things that drive me crazy at work.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I have really awesome regulars and love the random conversations I get to have with people. Plus I can save money on Starbucks since I've learned how to make pretty much every drink I used to have there. But everything has pros and cons. These are the things people have done that made me question their intelligence:

1) This is number one on the list because its the most ridiculous. Please don't call and ask if you can order a wedding cake for a hundred people a week before the wedding. No. You can't. And don't get confused and then call back a few minutes later and ask to speak to the owner to be sure it can't be done... she's only going to tell you the same thing but probably not in as nice of a way as I did.

2) Tell me that your underwater themed cake is "too blue" and complain that there is not enough on the cake when you order the smallest size. If we put more on there that "realistic" looking shark that you wanted to have would be only an inch big.

3) If you or your kid drops a cupcake on the carpet... its okay, just tell me. I'll clean it up no problem. No need to try to hide it by lifting up the table and trying to shove it under one of the legs... that just makes it worse.

4) We close at 6. Please stop showing up at 6:30 and think I'm going to let you in. Especially if I'm already walking to my car.

5) Don't try to tell me that I don't know the difference between a latte and a cappuccino. I will only google it on my phone and show you site after site how I am right and you're wrong. You will then take your drink, huff away, and then come back a week later and tell me you went to starbucks and they explained it to you using the same words that I used and that I was right all along.

6) Cupcakes are $2. Yes $2. If you don't like it then don't buy them. Please don't tell me that the price is outrageous and it would be cheaper for you to make them yourself etc. and then buy 2 dozen. Can't we just skip that and go right to the boxing of the cupcakes and you giving me the money and leaving?

7) Do not complain that your half priced, day old, scone or cookie is too dry... there is a reason they are half priced. Also, don't try to use that complaint to get a fresh one without paying the difference.

8) When its -30 degrees out, don't ask if we have ice cream.

The Kevin Bacon Game and my Wedding. Only 2 degrees.

Anyone who knows me knows that I have almost an unhealthy obsession with old Hollywood. So it would come to no surprise to anyone that I own a copy of The Hollywood Book of Death  by James Parrish. Well, I was bored and started rereading the book of 125 plus mini biographies of Hollywood legends that are no longer with us. I happened upon the excerpt of Grace Kelly and learned that she had a brief affair with designer Oleg Cassini, who was the designer responsible for Jackie Kennedy's signature look, and also happens to be the designer of my wedding dress. 

My mind went wild with all type of connections I could make with just this little tidbit of information. By buying my wedding dress I was able to tie my wedding into my love for both Old Hollywood, and 50's and 60's pop culture, politics and fashion. Oh but thats not all, Grace Kelly also dated and rejected a marriage proposal from Bing Crosby and instead ended up marrying the Prince of Monaco and became a princess. So just by my dress I have tied my wedding into a princess theme (which is fitting since its a ball gown) and also my even more unhealthy obsession with American standard crooners and the movie White Christmas. All these little tie-ins to my wedding made me think about the ultimate tie-in game. The 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon.

I found a great generator that seems to be connected with IMDB called www.oracleofbacon.org  go there, have fun! I know I did. This is what I found out:

Oleg Cassini was costume designer for Where the Sidewalk Ends (1950) with Eda Reiss Merin who was in Enormous Changes at the Last Minute (1983) with  Kevin Bacon.  

Yep my wedding dress designer is only 2 degrees separated from Kevin Bacon. So I wanted to see what other ties I could find. Here they are:

Grace Kelly was in Mogambo (1953) with Donald Sinden who was in Balto (1995) with Kevin Bacon

Bing Crosby was in Say One For Me (1959) with Robert Wagner who was in Wild Things (1998) with Kevin Bacon.

Yep folks, I even tied my wedding into the movie Wild Things... such a cinematic masterpiece that movie was. :-/ Actually, that was the movie that made me decide to stop watching Kevin Bacon movies because he is way too comfortable with on-screen nudity for my tastes.  You can only take so many glances of a middle-aged man's man meat. And I think I'm going to leave you with that. Man meat seems like a good closer. 

Crumbs

So I've done some stuff I would considered weird in the bathroom, I talk to my friend in Atlanta for hours on end and sometimes I need to pee so yes, sometimes I take the phone into the bathroom with me. It seems I always need to ask fiancée questions when either one of us is on the john. However, I can honestly say I have never ever eaten a cupcake in the bathroom.

I work for a cupcake and coffee shop. I will be the first to say that our cupcakes are heavenly. However I have never needed to eat the cupcake so badly and simultaneously had to pee enough that I would think to eat the cupcake in the bathroom. You would be surprised how many cupcake crumbs I have to clean up in the bathroom. Its enough to fill up a standard sized dust pan. At first, I thought maybe it was just crumbs stuck on clothing that came loose when pants were dropped, however that is very unlikely considering the amount of crumbs I am finding and the fact that the tables and the counter are on the other side of the store. That's a lot of crumbs defying the gravity of standing up from the table and walking that distance. Still, I held onto that belief until today, when I saw a bathroom eater in action.  She ordered 6 cupcakes and when she was done buying I saw her go over to a table, open up the box, remove a cupcake and then proceed into the bathroom. When she came out the cupcake was gone, she picked up the box from the table and left. I tried to keep my eyes to the floor as she passed by the counter so she couldn't see the judgement within them.

Not only is it weird and shocking to me that women will eat cupcakes in the bathroom, it also weirds me out that I want to know how exactly they are eating these cupcakes to make such a mess. I would think that at least most of the crumbs would fall into the toilet but no, there is always a group of crumbs in front of the toilet when I go in there to sweep.  How far are these women leaning over to eat these cupcakes while sitting on the toilet?

You may have noticed that I'm calling the bathroom cupcake eaters, women. Although men constantly do weird and disturbing things that I don't understand, I have never found any cupcake crumbs in the men's  bathroom. I have a few theories on why this is. Perhaps they do not eat their cupcakes in the bathroom because they need both hands? Or maybe they too eat them in the bathroom but I don't know it because they are facing the toilet and so the crumb evidence gets flushed away... when they remember to flush. Perhaps they do eat in the bathroom but men more often buy fewer of the cupcakes and more of the less messy cookies. So far the evidence is pointing that the men are not eating the cupcakes in the bathroom, however they have their own problems, like being unable to take out one paper towel out of the holder without 5 falling on the floor.

I'd like to hear some theories from you. Are you a closeted bathroom eater? Its okay you can tell us. This is a safe place.

A Working Mom's Guilt

When I found out I was pregnant with Lucas I was working for an office. As the due date got closer and closer I was sure I’d be ready to go back to work and join the real world after my maternity leave. Being a stay-at-home mom was not for me.  At 6 months pregnant I was laid off, there was no way to get a job for just three months so I was pretty much forced to do the stay-at-home mom thing.

Being a new mom and staying at home with an infant was more challenging than I ever dreamed it could be. Showers are a luxury, you’re constantly with another human being but, because the baby can’t talk, you struggle with loneliness. However it is one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. Every new word or gesture that he did that I taught him made me stare in awe as I realized that my predictable daily routine had a purpose. I was a stay-at-home mom for 17 months of my little boy’s life.  Then I got a job.

It couldn’t have come at a more inopportune time. It was Thanksgiving week.  It was also moving week for us. Fiancée and I were staying with my mother and had finally found our own place we could afford. I don’t know if this is common knowledge, but let me tell you, babies don’t like change. So to go from a by the minute daily routine with mommy to mommy leaving him at grandma’s house all day, then coming home to a completely new and unfamiliar environment, oh and then lets spend an entire day being carted off to one place after another and getting stuffed with mash potatoes in large noisy crowded rooms, then the next day being abandoned at grandma’s again, and because that’s not enough lets sprout four teeth at one time and add a cold into the mix. It was the week from hell. The next week wasn’t much better, but slowly he turned back from the little screaming monster filled with resentment and an abundance of snot, back to the sweet smiling well adjusted little angel he used to be. That was when the guilt set in.

When Luke was busy being a monster, as horrible as it is to say, I didn’t have much of a problem leaving him. Driving to work was quiet time. I hadn’t had quiet time in a very long time, and I missed it so I welcomed it back like an old friend and forgot about all those guilty feelings I was supposed to be feeling about not being home with my baby. But when Luke went back to normal and I started noticing the new things that he can do, like say “Thank You” and develop a favorite movie. (It's Cars by the way, except he calls it “beep beep.”) I realized all the things I am liable to miss by being away at work. The downward spiral of self loathing and guilt had begun and was only amplified when I realized I actually kind of liked my job. That seemed like the ultimate betrayal. I was the worst mother on the face of the planet.

Because I felt like I was the worst mother in the world for abandoning my child to be a responsible adult and work full time, I tried to make up for it by spoiling the heck out of my kid when I was home. “Sure Luke! You can have 3 cookies before noon, pull out every single DVD out of the cabinet and spread your cheerios out all over the floor, as long as you know mommy loves you!” Yeah, that didn’t go over too well with Fiancée and I knew I wasn’t really doing the little guy any favors by letting him do whatever he wanted.  

My saving grace from the spiral of guilt came in two parts. My absolutely amazing future mother-in-law watches my son when both fiancée and I work. All the grandkids call her “B” short for “Grandma B.” I love this because its easy for an 18 month old to say and she gets so excited because he can say her name. Anyway, I was taking him to her house and bracing myself for the huge meltdown that was sure to come to show me he was not okay with my abandonment and reiterate that I am indeed the worst mother in the world. Instead, as soon as we got out of the car he pointed at the house and said “B” enthusiastically over and over until we got to the front door. When we went inside he found her right away and greeted her with a big smile and a “B!” and motioned her to pick him up. I thought that was cute but I was still bracing myself for the tear fest when I went to leave. So I gave him a hug and a kiss and said “ Ok baby, mommy has to go to work, I’ll see you when I get home. Love you!” then I waited for the tears… nothing… instead he looked at me, waved, and in his little toddler language said “ aye ma! Ove oo!” (for those not fluent in toddler, it means “bye ma, love you!”) I left the house and pulled out the drive way while the little guy stood at the window smiling and waving.

The tear free goodbye got me through the first 5 hours of work. “He’s really okay, he doesn’t think I’m a bad mom for leaving him, he’s having fun with his grandma, I have the greatest , most well adjusted kid in the world!” At the 5 hour mark however, a sneaky mind ninja attacked and suddenly I was filled with doubt and anxiety. “What if he’s not really okay, what if he just decided he doesn’t need me because he has grandma? He’s fine with me leaving because he has replaced me with “B” and he likes her better.” Beware those sneaky mind ninja’s they will mess you up. If I had any artistic ability I would draw you a picture so you know what to watch out for, but I don’t, so just imagine a tiny ninja clad in black practicing devastating ninja tactics on your brain. Scary huh?

I drove home to pick up Luke wondering after working eight hours if he would even remember that he had a mother when I got there. I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting when I got to the front door of “B’s” house but its definitely not what I received. As soon as Lucas saw me he did his little shaky excited dance and waved “hi.” He then gave me the biggest hug I have ever received. This knocked the mind ninja out cold. My son hadn’t forgotten who I was and just because he loved his grandmother didn’t mean he loved me less.

The self loathing guilt spiral has been beaten. Not to say I don’t feel guilty sometimes when I leave him but it definitely is not as bad as it used to be. I just remember that he’s with family that loves him and takes really good care of him and just because he doesn’t see me every second of the day anymore doesn’t mean he’s going to forget about me. He gets to spend time with his grandparents and work on socialization skills and I get to have conversations that aren’t one sided and start with “ did you make a poopy diaper?” It took me a while to realize that being a working mom could really be a win-win situation for everyone.